Monday, January 14, 2013
Bad Road Ahead
There is a song by Ginny Owens that has carried me through some truly dark and dismal times in my life. There is something hauntingly pure and simple about Owens' voice and message of "If You Want Me To" that speaks to my heart and comforts.
As I listen to it now, my breathing slows down and my chest relaxes.
Ginny Owens is a young Christian singer who happens to be blind among other things, like brilliant. I heard her tell the story of how she majored in music education in college, expecting to pursue her passion for teaching high school students upon graduation. Unfortunately, she soon found out that administrators were less than thrilled about the idea of a blind choral director. Of course, they never said as much in interviews. But, they could hardly hide their surprise after meeting her for the first time. "If You Want Me To" was born out of her frustration over when and how she would pursue her dream to teach.
Fortunately, God had bigger plans for Ginny than she ever could have imagined. Today she has sold over 1 million copies of her albums and is a three time Dove Award winner and a multiple ASCAP award winner. Clearly, she's doing just fine without those administrators and their jobs. She is teaching on a different level.
I know that God has incredible things planned for me and my family. I really do. And I take Him at his word when he says, " I have plans to prosper you and not harm you; plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11
But, have you ever gotten the feeling that you were looking at 12 miles of bad road ahead? You can just see the train wreck coming and there's not a thing you can do about it. Typically, when this happens my reaction is pretty typical, not logical, but typical. In the past, I would choose the crying/tantrum/pity party route. Maybe if you just refuse to accept the hard road, it will magically disappear! No?? Why the hell not?!
Now that I am ever so much wiser, I prefer the pursuit of quick fixes. This may come in the form of food, trashy books, movies, music, etc. I also like to throw in some major life changes just for fun. At least I don't color my hair ridiculous colors or get tattoos anymore (I'll never tell where it is!)
Yesterday, I had this thought. This is SO cliche, but I wondered what Jesus did when he was scared. After all, He got more than a healthy dose of the human condition during his time on this earth, right? We know that the night before his crucifixion, as he was waiting in the Garden of Gethsemane for his arrest, that his soul was "sorrowful, even to death." (Matthew 26: 38) He fell on his face, praying desperately for this cup (his death) to pass from him if possible. But, even as he wished for a way out of this suffering, he accepted God's will. I cannot even imagine that kind of fear and still, he trusted God's plan.
Whatever the road ahead may bring, I know God will be with us. History is a great predictor of future events, and He has yet to leave me hanging in a time of need. I, on the other hand, am like the fair weather friend who gets happy and lazy and forgets all about Him. But, even now, as the storm approaches, I can feel Him pulling me in, calling me home. And I am so, so grateful that He still welcomes this prodigal child with open arms.